Welcome to answers from an apostolic faith.
In Father and Son, the Holy Spirit, One God. Amen.
I believe that today's question is of tremendous significance because it considers a snare that has led many into despair in their spiritual lives into thinking that God is not present or doesn’t listen to them. And they ask God: Where are you? Why aren’t you listening to me? This stems from the fact that often we don’t emotionally feel God in prayer. So, some feel like they are rejected by God. You might feel like this sometimes. But am I supposed to emotionally feel God in prayer? And when we feel Him, what is that feeling like? Is it an emotional feeling? These are the questions we want to answer today. So in John 4, when Christ was speaking to the Samaritan woman, He told her:
''But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.'' (John 4:23)
So we know that we ought to worship in truth, but what is worshipping in the spirit? The misconception today is that we relate the spirit or spiritual life with feelings or emotions, but this is not exactly accurate. In the Orthodox understanding, there's a difference between emotions we feel, like laughing and crying and so on, and the spiritual connection with God, which happens through what the Church Fathers call the νους (nous). The nous is the eye of the soul that experiences God. It is an experience that combines the person’s mind and heart, but it is not based on emotions or feelings. The genuine spiritual life is not feeling things; it is about being transformed back into the true image of God.
Let me give you an example. Let us imagine a guy called Joe. Joe has been going to the gym for a couple of weeks now, so he's still a beginner, so he lifts only 10 kg with his biceps, right? But one day, Joe is listening to some lively music and he's pumped up. So on his way to the gym, he decides: Today, I will lift 30 kg... triple what he usually lifts. So he goes with complete confidence till he finds himself utterly incapable of lifting the weight and gets hurt. What happened to Joe is what happens to many in their spiritual lives. As they focus on emotions to pump themselves up spiritually, and believe that they have attained some sort of high spiritual level, but then they fall into the same sins again and they realize that there's no real spiritual growth.
Let me give you another example. If someone listens to a secular song that drives emotional happiness inside of her, does that make her a saint? A spiritual life founded on emotions is like a house built on the sand. It is like a marriage that was joyful in the first few months where each spouse was ecstatic about the other, but when the rain, the wind and the flood
came, it collapsed because it lacked the spiritual strength; it wasn’t built on the rock. Spiritual life is about the consistent growth one achieves daily through his spiritual canon. It is about building those spiritual muscles that will get Joe to lift those thirty kilograms and then move on to the forties and fifties and so on.
So in Orthodox spirituality, we never base the quality of our prayers on the emotions felt during prayer. Sometimes we feel God within us, sometimes we don’t. But each prayer, if done with seriousness, counts in the eyes of God and transforms me into His image. St. Cyril of Jerusalem says:
''Take courage, toil and strive zealously, for nothing will be lost. Every prayer you make, every Psalm you sing, is recorded; every alm, every fast is recorded.'' (St. Cyril of Jerusalem)
That is what counts. Having said this, I also need to clarify that once we attain a certain level in our spiritual lives, we should feel God inside of us from time to time. But these feelings are not earthly emotions. They are the fruit of the spirit: true heavenly love, joy, peace, sometimes, strength. It is a feeling of His presence within us. Many are already there. If you haven’t gotten there yet, you will get there one day through your commitment to your spiritual canon. I invite you to watch the video called How Often Should I pray? where we discuss the positive approach to truly reaching a solid relationship with God, truly to build our house on the rock.
Remember: Know your faith, live your faith, and teach your faith. And glory be to God forever. Amen.