Welcome to answers from an apostolic faith.
In the name of the Father and the Son, the Holy Spirit, One God. Amen.
Why is adultery a sin? Why is fornication a sin? Why would God create the gift of sex, but limit its use? Why would He bless the wedding in Cana of Galilee, including the sexual unity, but tell the adulterous woman: sin no more? By the grace of God, we will answer all these questions in the next few minutes through the understanding of anthropology from a divine perspective, meaning who is a real human being in God's eyes.
Humanity has been created in the image and likeness of God, which entails that we ought to mirror the Holy Trinity. So, we ought to love in a Trinitarian fashion. This is what was revealed to us in John 17 when our Lord Jesus is praying to God the Father and He says the following:
'' 26 And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them...'' (John 17:26)
In other words, the love between the Father and the Son should be in us humans. So, we ought to love like each person in the Holy Trinity loves. In a nutshell, this is our Christian calling. This is the first point.
Now, we have seen in an earlier video discussing the sin of pornography that the love within the Trinity is selfless, meaning it is sacrificial, that each person pours out his love into the others. He doesn’t think about Himself, so to speak, but thinks solely about the others. And very importantly, the three persons are united in one God and this unity ought to be mirrored in the Christian believers in their marriages, through the unity of the spirit, soul and body. This understanding of true unity is the second crucial point to answering this question of adultery and fornication. But before getting there, allow me to continue preparing the foundation of our answer by explaining the four types of love.
In Greek, they are called αγάπη (agápi), υιλία (filía), στοργή (storyí) and ερωσ (eros). The second and third, which are filia and storyi, are equivalent to the love one has for his parents or friends. Eros, the fourth type, is the romantic love between a husband and wife. But the main one that is of interest today is the first one, agapi, which is the unconditional love. Unconditional love means loving without rules, without condition. If I can use another term for this love, it would be a covenantal love. So, God enters into a covenant with us humans, where He declares that He would love us regardless of our actions. But remember, we, as humans, need to mirror this love.
This is why God would answer St. Peter in Matthew 18:22 and say that we ought to forgive up to seventy times seven, meaning to forgive always. But we truly learn to mirror this Trinitarian love within marriage where each one of us enters in the real covenant with his or her spouse and says that I will love you regardless of what happens. This is very crucial. In the sacrament of holy matrimony, the two persons become one flesh. They are united in this mystery and declare in front of God and the entire world that they will love each other unconditionally. They will love like God loves, mirroring the Holy Trinity.
This is why St. Paul would say in Hebrews:
'' 4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.'' (Hebrews 13:4)
As you know, fornication means being sexually active before marriage and adultery means being sexually active after marriage with someone else than the spouse. Why are these considered sins? In other words, why would these actions separate someone from God?
Because these actions are not full of love, of God’s love, because there is no marriage, there's no covenant, no agapi, no unconditional love in a sexual relationship with someone that is not a spouse. There cannot be eros without agapi. Again, there cannot be eros without agapi. Remember: each of the spouses declares in front of God, the spouse, and the world that he will love her unconditionally and that he will be united with her at any cost. This is essential in front of God for this earthly love to be considered real love in His eyes.
The problem we face today is that each person wants to establish his own or her own definition of love. And often this earthly definition is not love at all, but lust. And to this, St. Augustine would respond the following:
''Sometimes people who commit this sin treat it lightly... and say, God does not mind the sins of the flesh. Well, what about what we have heard today, God will judge the immoral and adulterous? So there you are, pay attention, any of you afflicted with this sort of disease. Listen to what God is saying, not to what your own prejudice is saying in favor of your sins, or to your friend, perhaps, chained with the same shackles of wickedness as yourself, though in fact he is more your enemy and his own.'' (St. Augustine)
It is a scary thought if we could imagine that we can create our own understanding of what love is. God is love. Love is His identity. We are in no position to attempt to love with our own understanding. If we have... if you have fallen in this sin, you are called to repentance and confession. Be reunited with God again.
Today, we live in a fallen world that is far from the true understanding of Trinitarian love. And if the Church’s understanding of love is true, then we would evidently see the harmful effects
of this tainted love around us. I will therefore share with you some scientific research results of adolescents brought up by single parents. Single-parent families could be a consequence of the death of a parent, but more often than not, it is a consequence of the lack of unconditional love or agapi, the lack of covenantal love. This research from Bridgewater College in Virginia in the U.S., says the following:
''Research findings indicate that adolescents from single-parent families engage in the highest rates of problem behaviors when compared to other family structures.'' (Bridgewater College, Virginia, U.S.A., mdpi.com/2075-4698/4/3/506/htm, paragraph 4.4.2)
These problems are cigarettes, or alcohol, or engaging in delinquent or aggressive behaviour. It continues and says:
''In other studies, researchers examined adolescent sexual activity and teen pregnancy and found that girls who experienced an absent father by or before age five had the highest rates of early sexual activity and teen pregnancy. Similarly, Moore [which is another study] found that adolescents living with single parents tend to initiate sex earlier than those living with both biological parents. These findings suggest that the presence of both parents in children’s lives appears to be associated with a delay in sexual activity and less problem behavior.'' (Bridgewater College, Virginia, U.S.A., mdpi.com/2075-4698/4/3/506/htm, paragraph 4.4.2)
These latter studies discuss the high rate of sexual activity in general with one parent only around and discusses also girls’ teen pregnancy when the father is absent by the age 5 or less. Therefore, the negative results of this misunderstanding of love is indeed apparent in our societies today.
Remember: Know your faith, live your faith, and teach your faith. And glory be to God forever. Amen.