Welcome to answers from an apostolic faith.
In name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, One God. Amen.
We thank the courageous person that asked today's question, which is: Why is pornography a sin and who am I hurting when I watch pornography?
To answer this, we first have to understand what is sexuality in Christianity and we have to understand that sexuality has two fold. The first one is that we become procreators with God. So, we know that God is the Creator, but God gives us the faculty, the power to create with Him, to create for Him, but more importantly to create in Him. So we share in His work. We mirror His image. That’s procreation.
The second purpose is intimacy in selfless love and we find that also images God. How? God is a Holy Trinity, so each person loves the others and pours himself towards the others in ways beyond our understanding. Their love is unconditional, beyond, truly, what we can grasp. That is what selfless love is. But God is also one. He's united. We are also asked to be the same, to be united in selfless love.
So, in Christianity, when we get married, we are united in three modes. The first one is spiritual unity where we ought to pray together as husband and wife; we ought to partake of the Eucharist together; we ought to read the Bible together: spiritual unity. The second one is the unity of the soul where we laugh, we are joyful together, we are peaceful together, we are sad together. And these two are prerequisites to the third one, which is the bodily unity. But again, the bodily unity’s purpose is to give ourselves in love selflessly to the other. Now, this is love and sexuality within Christianity.
Now, when someone watches pornography or lusts through the eyes or the ears, he removes the three modes. The first two are obvious. The third one, the bodily one, he removes the love out of it and becomes lust. There’s no unity with another person. It’s all about myself. Instead of being selfless, it becomes something that is very selfish. That’s what lust is. And pornography has, at its purpose, lust to feed that lustful bodily desire that I have.
So, someone asked me, someone who that has atheistic ideas asked me once, he told me: Why is it that God creates us in this way with that desire in us and then judges me for watching pornography or what not? But the answer's quite simple. Actually, God did not create you this way. God’s creation is always good, but because we fell and sinned, that corruption within us puts that desire in us. But we should not give in to this desire. And God
has given us the sacraments to level us back and for us to regain the proper image of God within us to become saints once more and therefore to fight this lust within us.
So, I ought to fight this corrupted desire inside of me. I need to make sure that I use my organs that God has given me as a gift, my senses... I use them according to their original purposes. I cannot misuse them for a corrupted purpose. If I do this, I’ll be missing the mark; I will be committing sin; I will corrupt myself.
So, the church is very wise in teaching us this through baptism where we get the new man, and right after, where we receive the chrismation, where we get the holy oil of the μυρóν (myron) on us, where the priest makes it a point to put the myron or anoints us in many different parts of our bodies. And on the face specifically, he puts on the mind so God may sanctify my thoughts. And I ought to understand that I need to sanctify my thoughts. I sanctify my eyes, my nose, my ears, my mouth, my entire senses; my being is being sanctified, because now I am holy. So St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians:
'' 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you [God is in you; you are the temple of the Spirit], whom you have from God, and you are not your own?'' (1 Corinthians 6:19)
The problem is we want to live for ourselves, but the purpose of humanity and to be, actually be a true human, you need to step outside yourself. Like God loves, each hypostasis loves the other, I also ought to love everybody. I step outside of myself. Love is not about me, but about others. And says:
20 For you were bought at a price [I was purchased, right? I'm bought at a price by God. And therefore, I need to make sure that... and understand that these senses are His. I live for Him]; therefore glorify God in your body... [not just in your spirit]-[in your body] and in your spirit, which are God’s.'' (1 Corinthians 6:20)
We need to be very, very much aware of this. So we have to understand, like we say, physically, we are what we eat, and that is very true. But that also applies very much spiritually, where we are what we eat through our senses. So, or I eat holiness, purity through my senses, or I eat corruption. Whatever is inside of me has come in from my senses or has come in from my mind. So, I need to be very much aware of what's inside me.
But why is purity so important? Because we are created in the image of God and God is pure. And therefore I need to fight as much as I possibly can and work with God’s grace for myself to be as pure as possible, because I wanna be in His image; I wanna be His son; I wanna be His daughter. Like St. John Chrysostom says:
''Concerning sex, we must strive for self-control. St. Paul tells us to seek peace and sanctification, without which it is impossible to see the Lord. Let us pursue holiness, then, in order to attain the Kingdom of Heaven.'' (St. John Chrysostom)
If I want to be with God in heaven and to enjoy His presence, I ought to be like Him. I ought to resemble Him. I ought to be pure.
So, who are you hurting? Clearly, yourself; you are destroying yourself! But potentially, you’re also hurting others. So, statistics agree that 50% of divorce cases involve one party having a pornography addiction, because that creates a narcissistic behaviour where everything comes about me. I’m self-indulged. And now, it’s not only in the sexual part of marriage, but in all areas of marriage. And if I’m not married, I ought to prepare myself for my future marriage if I am willing to walk in this direction. And in the meantime, I give myself and love to others by serving others.
If you are suffering from such an addiction, remember that there is hope. Many have overcome through God’s grace, and your turn might be the next. Hopefully, potentially a next video, we can give advice on how to overcome the addiction of pornography, but for now...
Remember: Know your faith, live your faith, and teach your faith. And glory be to God forever. Amen.